In preparation for this summer, we have been taking more trips to Home Depot’s garden section. (I’ve bought two new Dracaena plants and been gifted a Dracaena Marginata tree from work because I’m a boss 😂. Honestly, I’m just trying to transform my living room into Eden).

There was one trip in which we left home high off an impromptu dance battle to the Coco soundtrack. We ended up doing pirouettes, shimmies, and plies all through the garden department. It was pretty and dope and I wished that I could have had someone documenting the occasion for us.

So, naturally, the next time we went (literally two days later because apparently Home Depot is my new Target), I filmed as much of the experience as I could. When we got home, I set up our new housemate (the plant) and watched the footage. Then a question hit me in the chest: what type of parent do I want to be?

My grandma or mom would NEVER let their children runamuck in the store like I did with My Joy these past few trips. Despite wanting to be the family star, I remember constantly being told by older family members that I was too shy and quiet. Now, the same people will say that My Joy “has so much personality” as if she displays this grandiose trait that she couldn’t possibly have inherited from me. (Actually, she’s three and a princess, so everything she does is a grandiose and exuberant gesture).

It’s no shade to my grandma or mom, because they were doing the best that they could. However, I honestly think the contrast is rooted in the parenting. We tend to stunt our children’s entire being in efforts to prevent them from embarrassing us or to keep them safe in public spaces (read: America) that do not appreciate their presence.

So as I was watching the dance party footage that I did film, I realized I he parent I’m aiming to be:

I want to be the type of parent that develops a child who is confident in her divine right to live fully and express herself freely. I want her to dance in gardens and sing at the table and share the most honest version of herself with the universe. Quite frankly, I want every child I come in contact with to feel like this.

–Sincerely, Tyra

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