I live a pretty private life. So making public business moves is really something foreign to me. Itâs been a learning process!
So, of course, when I was looking at a friendâs social media page and saw their title for their brand/company underneath their photo, I thought⌠âWhy have I never added that to my Facebook profile?â (Insert a đ¤Śđžââď¸+ a đ) But, Iâm thankful for the people (family, friends + complete strangers) that have supported me all this time despite this slip!
Whatâs something that seems intuitive but people forget to do for their business? If you have another âsimple-enoughâ tip that could help someone, please share in the comments. We like supporting each other on this site. So, donât be shy!
…Guessing now this means, at some point, I need to do a proper launch party, huh?! đ
Is there someone in your life you who could use a reminder about how strong/creative/blessed they are? If you are a Black woman reading this, what are you speaking over yourself this morning, Queen?
Hereâs a poem I wrote years ago to speak over myself when I needed an extra bit of encouragement. My only request:
If you share this at all, share it with a Black womanâfirst.
âSincerely, Tyra
Dear Queen, Look in the mirror and repeat: You are beautiful. You are Black. You are woman. Divinely created to bring peace to a world of chaos; perfectly molded to solve any problem with your intelligent mind. Go forth and give rise to the day you wish to experience.
We have experienced so many highs and lows this year. The rollercoaster that 2020 tried to keep us riding had most of us feeling tired one day, excited the next day and completely blessed the following day.
Some of us experienced the fear of death lurking behind daily COVID-19 reports or the updates of each high-profile police-involved murder that plastered Black bodies across the internet like strange fruit.
*Give me a minute: Iâm taking another moment to remember the loved ones that we lost this year.*
…But if 2020 taught me anything, it was this: You are not in control of this life!
Donât get me wrongâthere are definitely choices and consequences that we make and experience on a daily basis. But, even with each of those, God controls the final outcome. Sometimes we can understand why He chose to let things happen the way they have and other times, we simply cannot. But, when I tell you I found freedom in just acknowledgingâagainâthat He is control of my life, it literally made me feel lighter and more at peace.
Then, I realized that although 2020 has been a crazy yearâitâs also been a year of blessings! Many of my friends have gotten promotions, raises, transitioned to more fulfilling jobs and great career opportunities, AND most of us have started new âpassionâ projects and legally registered our businesses. I was even blessed with new consulting contracts and an invitation to participate in my first speaking tour. Oh! And, how can I forget laying the foundation for my first clothing line! Thankfully, we will have made it to this time next year with even more increase and provision.
@SincerelyTyra on IG/FB
In the Bible, Matthew records Jesus as Heâs teaching us how to pray. Jesus says, âfor your Father knows what you need before you ask himâ(Matthew⏠â6:8⏠âNIV)âŹâŹ. But what would happen if we did ask Him?!
One of my favorite Psalms reads: “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (37:4). It’s an ever-present reminder that God wants us to live our best lives. (Note: And He will oblige us when we are putting His desires first. See also: Matthew 6:33.)
So, hereâs the challenge: Letâs us to go into 2021 with a mindset of overflow and watch God show out.
Wondering where to start? Try taking twenty minutes out of your schedule every day to sit and hear a word from God. Think about all the ways He has blessed, helped, or sent encouragement to you. If you are consistent in this, I truly believe that your desires begin to align with all the goodness that He desires for your life. Also, in that time, you will a) grow stronger in your ability to see that only He knows the outcomes of our lives and b) realize that Heâs taken His time to design each experience uniquely for us based on what our individual needs include.
Next, be intentional about writing down your goals. As I always say, take the time to “dream your best dreams!” Really sit still and give yourself enough time and space (and yes, freedom, too) to process what would make you happiest in life. Erykah Badu said it this way:
Third: Put those intentions on display!! I cannot tell you how many times I have penned a great To Do list for my personal goals, or household goals, or business goals and then lost track of which notebook I wrote it down in (or typed it, if perchance, I didn’t properly organize the list in my Evernote notebooks)! To avoid this, a simple trick that I have started using is huge post-it paper (I know it’s a little Being Mary Jane-ish, but IT WORKS!) Maybe having giant post-its thumb-tacked in your bedroom doesn’t work… Completely understandable! Try putting your list of goals on display anywhere that you know you will see it frequently.
Last, but definitely, not least: Be okay with not completing tasks/goals in your timeline. Despite having the idea years prior, so many of my goals were able to happen “just now” because my trust in God was stronger. (If I’m being completely honest, my obedience was more on point this year than ever before as well. But I’ll save that blogpost for another day.) Again, 2020 has been a lesson in learning to trust God’s direction as I completed the goals He’s set before me. His timing is always better and produces more fruit than I can anyhow. In fact, everything that I’ve needed to learn about running a sustainable business has either shown up by His handiwork when I least expected, (because God consistently exceeds my expectations) or because I was intentional about asking God to order my steps toward the exact opportunity I needed.
We have less than a week until 2021 arrives with new problems that need solutions and God-sent opportunities alike. Let’s get ahead of the year by starting on a positive note!
Can we commit to doing the #TheOverflowChallenge together?! Tell me something youâre excited to ask for God’s help with in 2021 in the comments below!
You know, I think Iâve always wanted to start a clothing line. I vividly remember sketching designs for our cheerleading uniforms in grammar school and re-designing all the hottest Nikes I couldnât afford. I was customizing Nikeâs before it was ever an option on a website. So earlier this year when I decided that I would design and make a few t-shirts, I knew I wanted them to be innovative. Like any entrepreneur, Iâm pretty particular about what I put my name on. So the excitement that comes with putting the EbonySun logo on these designs is next level.
We* officially debuted two original designs last week at our very FIRST pop-event (pictured below). That means we officially slayed two goals this month! We already had the âDistinguish Yourselfâ design and the â#ProtectUsâ shirt which made its debut on Juneteenth. So releasing the âDonât Foldâ and âMind Your Business(es)â shirts next felt like a step in the right direction.
Our warehouse is small but mighty.
The catalyst for all of these designs are, of course, centered around personal lessons or and social issuesâmany of which Iâve written about on the Sincerely, Tyra blog or our social media platforms. So there is an intentional level of brand connectivity happening between the writing that we feature and these designs. Even the EbonySun logo and motto looks like something we would don on the Sincerely, Tyra side of the house.
EbonySun logo and motto.
Our next goal is to facilitate a collaborative of women-owned small businesses in the creation of a scholarship fund focused on teen mothers. The â#ProtectUsâ shirt (originally titled the Rekia shirt) is a not-for-profit sale item for this very reason. Until the collaborative group is formed, this shirt is our healthy reminder to protect every facet of Black womanhood. This design will likely become the flagship for funding the scholarship fund. If you know of any organizations or small businesses that we should partner with for this endeavor, please email details to info@sincerelytyra.com.
Each shirt can be found on our Etsy shop (https://www.etsy.com/shop/EbonySun) and custom orders can be placed using the following Google Form. Of course, weâd love our subscribers’ feedback on the designs! So hit reply and tell us what you think! Or let us congratulate YOU by sharing any goals you’ve accomplished this year with us!
âSincerely, Tyra
*Right now, âweâreâ a design team of one (perhaps, one and a half if you count assistance from my five-year old daughter). But prayerfully EbonySun and Sincerely, Tyra will be able to hire an administrative assistant and a design assistant before Quarter 2 of 2021. The best way you can support us with this next goal is through prayer. Thanks in advance!
**We = trusted team members are being spoken into existence.
Last Sundayâs POP-UP event display.EbonySunâs Creative Director, TyraShange, wearing the âMind Your Business(es)â shirt.Prepping the âMind Your Business(es)â shirts for the Pop-up event.The â#ProtectUsâ shirt gets a new colorway!Getting the âDonât Foldâ Shirt prepped for special delivery.
Weâre excited to announce that our mother company, EbonySun Chicago, is partnering with this dynamic group of Black-owned businesses next week to offer you all NEW merch (like new NEW… not even on our website… exclusive NEW) and of course, boxes of Sincerely, Tyra-authored books!
Join us and share the good news! Happy Sunday!
âSincerely, Tyra
EbonySun is a lifestyle brand created to showcase positive images of Black life.
Yes, Iâm that mom that sings to the babies in their sleep! 𼰠Judge ya mama đ
So Iâve been listening to a lot of Drake and Anita lately. But somehow in between them, I was able to come across this song, Sacred Space, by India.Arie. Honestly, between her and Anitaâs Tidal playlists, Iâm rethinking the type of love that I need and want in my life.
Thereâs a lyric in this song that India sings: âWhen this life becomes a fight. You are where I put my gloves down.â
âŚHoney, that hit my spirit in different way. Those lyrics expressed a type of love that exudes peace, comfort, and sanctuary.
Listening to it made me think about whether those things could exist naturally between two people or whether a couple would have to work toward finding and maintaining that type of love.
There are so many ideas and suggestions about love within our culture. An obvious example can be found in love songs. Anitaâs and Indiaâs repertoires are even better examples. Iâd like to say that Drake might have one or two ideas about love that are actually solid. Maybe…
But itâs difficult to determine what to require from love these days. The dominant theory of our culture doesnât even seem to value love much. So itâs definitely not effectively teaching us what to REQUIRE from love for it to be long lasting and beautiful.
Are there prerequisites or demands of love for it to be oneâs sacred space? What are some things that you require from love for it to feel right and good? Share in the comments! Iâm learning! So help me out! đĽ°đŠ
I want to hide… Literally just want to get under the covers, ball up like a baby and hide. Why? Because of this feeling of rejectionâand how I chose to respond to it. Disclaimer: This post is going to share my flawed reactions to a recent male friendâs choice to be in a relationship with someone else. No details about his identity will be revealed because, well, that just wouldnât be fair.
If youâve been following the blog for awhile, you probably remember the following quote:
Posted in January of this year, the photo reached just shy of 2,600 individuals and sparked 41 profile visits on Instagram. Cool, right?
Well, it probably wouldâve been dopeâif I actually wouldâve taken my own advice. You see, I entangled myself intimately again (this time, building what I thought was a stronger friendship) with the same man this post was about just three months AFTER I wrote about being content with us not being in a relationship.
Now, let me be honest this time around, I have not really been self-aware these past few months. I thought that I could be intimate with him and not catch feelings. Honey, I had it mapped out so clearly in my head.
…Until, we started acting like real friends toward each other. Because of this new pattern of interactions, my feelings grew exponentially faster than his did. When I realized he had become interested in someone else, again lacking self-awareness, I thought âokay, cool, we can still just be friends.â
Big pause here: Show of hands. How many of you think I was ready for us to just be friends?!
Seriously, what was I thinking?! Deep down, I knew I wanted more from the beginning and should have been honest with myself enough to create boundaries to let him know that as well.
But that wasnât the choice I made. So when he decided that he did NOT want a relationship with me againâone would likely think: Oh, she knew it could end this way. Sheâll be fine.
I did know that it could end this way and yes, because Iâm an adult who made the choices I made, I SHOULDA been fine with his decision. But, for the sake of my own personal growth, let me tell you why I wasnât:
I do not handle rejection well.
…There I said it.
Iâm honestly just not used to it. I was one of the top students in school all throughout my life. Got rewarded left and right for my intelligence, work ethic, and ability to help others. I was popular in college and am still very much the person everyone has a good time around. Other guys are vying for my attention. So why wouldnât he want to be in a relationship with me?
That was the million dollar question that I didnât realize I was even struggling with this time around. When I say struggle⌠it took TWO good friends to sit me down on TWO separate occasions over the course of this past week for me to realize that I have been giving this man hell over a choice he FULLY has the right to make. (Note: đĽ´đ¤Śđžââď¸ is how I feel admitting to this and realizing Iâve been acting like crazy person. Iâm supposed to be cooler than this.đ)
Last Friday, without knowing about my situation, one of my best guy friends was venting to me about a woman heâs been involved with recently. Hearing his feelings about her actions confirmed that I had been irrational with my expectations of the man I was only intimately involved with. So, it was then that I decided that I was over it. At least, thatâs what I thought.
Then, yesterday, after sending a text to the man that explained how I feltâabout him not choosing meâI called another good friend for validation when he told me I was wrong. How could he say my feelings were wrong? But, because my circle keeps it very real with me: she told me I was DEADASS WRONG for some of the things I said to him. Ultimately, I apologized to him because of that conversation and her ability to help me see a different perspective.
So this morning when I get another like on the Instagram post above, I realized that this feels terrible because Iâm not used to feeling ârejected.â I wanted something from him that he didnât want from me. Hence, the REJECTION.
If I was more self-aware or problem-solving this for one if my own friends, my advice would be that:
1) I could have chosen to not fool around with this man.
2) I could have been real with myselfâand chosen to correct my attitude toward our time together.
3) We were just two people making decisions about what we wanted in the heat of each moment.
4) Despite how much you disagree with their choices, you donât always deserve an apology.
5) Sex and friendship does not equal a relationship.
Everyone has choices to make in life and weâre not always going to like what other people decide. These past few weeks have helped me to become more aware of my own choices and although I still feel bad for how I was treated and how I decided to react toward the man, Iâm thankful that this experience has granted me insight. Next time, I know to be more upfront with myself.
How do you know when youâre not acting like yourself? Have you had an experience that caused you to act differently than you normally would act? What lessons did you learn about self-awareness? Full disclosure: Iâm still learning and your comments may help me grow!
Sincerely, Tyra
Self-awareness? How do you know when youâre not acting like yourself?
Warning: The following video is footage of a memorial that was built to honor Oluwatoyin “Toyin” Salau, a 19-year-old Black Lives Matter activist from Florida whoâs body was found dead one week after she went missing.
Chicago, IL
What does it mean to protect the Black woman at all costs?? Physically⌠Spiritually⌠Emotionally⌠Can we finally have a conversation about this? What am I to tell My Joy when she sees Black womenâs bodies deteriorate and mangled as consequences of being on the front lines?
Iâve been trying to get active and get rid of this 2020-Stress Body. One particular Saturday morning after My Joy and I are walking/running/playing soccer on the track, I notice a faint crying sound. As we get closer, I realize a tiny little girl is hunched over crying, another (older) is about five feet away standing under a tree (looking lost). So I asked the child crying what was wrong and where her parents were. She pointed to a man who was across the field walking on the opposite side of the track and said heâs walking and said âheâd needs three more (laps) and Iâm hot!!â
And homegirl is boohoo-ing, okay! But to her credit, it was like 80 degrees at 10am. So I look to confirm that the man is indeed across the field and tell her everything is going to be okay. Of course MyJoy walks over and gives her a hug (đĽ°đ¤). Then a few mins later she says sheâs hot and thirsty, too. So I walk her to the car to get her water, trying to watch the two girls the whole time. I end up asking Sameyah if she wanted to get her ball to play with them.
Ultimately, I donât know his story, he could have been frustrated, trying to blow off some steam or perhaps clear his mind. (I didnât ask). And when I spoke to him, he seemed generally niceâeven thanked me for letting MyJoy okay and for talking to them. But, when we left the track, I was still disturbed by the entire scene.
That led to a rabbit hole of other questions:
How are we supposed to raise our girls to feel protected and cared for in this climate? What message does it send to these small girls if not even their father can console them when theyâre emotionally distressed?
How am I as a woman supposed to be open and honest with the men in my own life if they are constantly battling demons of repressed anger from injustices seen and unseen?
How is it that there is no official number of Black women missing in America? Did you know that there are an estimated 64,000-75,000 Black women and girls who are currently missing in the U.S. Not only is that a huge number of open cases and families in pain, but thatâs a huge gap in our estimate as well. It feels… unacceptable.
How do we solve this? I donât mind saying so donât have the answers. So Iâm looking to this village for some viable solutions.
Leave a reply if youâve ever had a similar experience or if you have solutions to some of the questions above.
Hereâs a question: What does it mean to âmatch energy?â The other day I was writing and reflecting on a few things and a thought came to me: âVow to never again reciprocate anyoneâs negative energyâŚ.â
Itâs no secret to the people that know me the best: I donât âmatch energyâ well. When someone does something or says something offensive to me, I normally ignore the action. It took me awhile. Whew, Chile! Talk about growing pains. But I realized that if youâre not in my personal circle, what you and say and do doesnât hold much weight with me. đ¤ˇđžââď¸
Moreover, trying to match that personâs negativity always makes me feel worse in the end anyway. Quite honestly, my conscience eats me alive when I do lash out at other people, because I know better. I know that Iâm supposed to strive to follow Jesusâ example and even He could ask for the forgiveness of the very people who crucified Him. Jesusâ connection with the Father and desire to please clearly overruled His desire to âmatch energy.â His example is leading me to learn how to practice matching Godâs Spiritâdespite my flesh.
The word came to me and Iâm sure it wonât be easy, but I have to âvow to never again reciprocate anyoneâs negative energy.â So to help me with this, Iâve been reading Ephesians 5 and listening to a song called âBlissâ by Jubilee Worship.
Have you ever had to grow in this or a similar area? Share your experience in the comments below. Iâd love to hear your story!
âSincerely, Tyra đ¤
Dear God, today, I say your will, not mineâŚâŹ . Father, take my heart as an offering. Take my mind, my body, my dreams and my thoughtsâYou can have it all. . Mold my heart to love You even more. Shape my hands to serve Your people without complaining. Fix my mind to always remember that You are my help. ⏠. âŞWrap us all in Your loving arms so we feel protected wherever we may go. Cover us, Heavenly Father. Mind, body and spirit is Yours for the taking. âŹThere are areas in our lives that only You can see what the outcome will be. I extend those as offerings as well. We have been grieving too long for things that are not like You. We commit to letting You be in total control of our situations and our circumstances. Work on our behalf as You have been doing. You can handle it better than we can anyway. . And while Youâre doing that, we will praise Your Name. We will sing of the magnitude of Your presence. We worship You. Reign forever and ever and ever. Capture our attention again with Your Holy Spirit! We invite You to rain down everything that You have for us. As we continue to give You control, grant is the patience to be at peace with this next season, with the people in our midst and with ourselves.
Crazy quilts are unique and innovative quilts created from scraps of material. They're crafted from odd pieces that don't always match or fit together without the work of an artist. My hope is for a world that values this unique artwork. I blog to make IPOC authors and their works more accessible, to make all the pieces fit together.
