#HealitGod: Fear of Love

I read somewhere that God can’t heal what you are unprepared to reveal. This is an interesting concept that requires us to do a bit of work. Mainly, if you are not in the mindset to be self-reflective and confess your flaws and sins to God, they’ll remain thorns in your side.

As my relationship grows stronger with Him, I want to be able bring every flaw to His altar. Prayerfully, my goal is just be a better mom, sister, friend, lover (to my future husband), and person, in general.

Speaking of being a better lover, it takes a certain level of vulnerability to be “in love” and a great partner. But I’m pretty sure my last relationship was ruined by my inability open up to him completely. I was worried of would happen if I became “too in love.” Before my next relationship, I’m praying and carving out time to figure how to overcome this fear.

I used to think vulnerability equaled fear. But I’ve been learning that it’s actually freedom; complete freedom to be all that you are without apology or regret. But because I aligned this concept fear (and in many ways, weakness), I ended up building walls with someone I really cared about.

So, as God continues to work in and through me, I’ve asked Him to make me more willing to stand in my truth and allow my strength and vulnerability to complement each other. I know it will take some time… and faith… and discernment. I’m re-reading both the New International Version and The Message Bible of 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 to gain more insight.

Is this even an issue or fear within God-centered relationships? Comment below and let me know how you overcame the of fear of loving too deeply.

-Sincerely, Tyra

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#HealitGod: Fear of Love

Free Woman

No one wants a free woman.

They want us to be small and contained,

unopinonated and ashamed

of all our own ideas.

When I say, “Stop that. It hurts me.”

They’d rather recall how strong

I was before and parade

my wounds around like a trophy.

I just want to be a free woman,

full of melodies and melanin.

Let me be all that I am

or walk away if you can’t.

Is there a such thing as a free

woman? My womb and

my mind are empty

according to every man.

“Can I be a freed woman?”

is not a question I ever thought

I’d need to ask.

—Sincerely, Tyra

I can’t lie. When I wrote this last night, I wasn’t thinking of it being “in honor of International Women’s Day.” But God planted this poem in my heart last night in relation to some conversations and experiences that I’ve been having with various men in my life over the past week or so. So I see His timing as perfect and pray that as women we continue to grow and walk in our God-given purpose-especially in the face of men who do not recognize our talents, gifts, or authority. So let me know what you think and hit me with some ideas for a title.

–peace + love, Tyra

Free Woman

Bellies & Babies

Sometimes I look at my stomach and cannot believe there used to be a living, breathing being inside of it…

at least until My Joy decides to randomly pat it and says “I used to be in Mommy’s tummy” or “I wanna be in Mommy’s tummy”

or… the most infamous one of all: “its looks like there’s a baby in there.” 🤦🏾‍♀️😩

I’m not sure if the child really thinks my stomach is a teleportation device, a time machine or if she’s trying to tell me she wants a sibling. Do other toddlers do stuff like this?

I’m so confused and can literally only take suggestions for the teleportation device idea. I rebuke any ideas of siblings in the near future. Two versions of me under the age of five—in the same house PLUS myself? …Yeah, I’ll pass. 😅

—Sincerely, Tyra

#SlayTheDream

Bellies & Babies

My Joy the Mastermind

After tub time, My Joy likes for me to pick her up and stand in the mirror and hug her—like I did when she wasn’t half my size. Last night—

My Joy: Pick me up, please.

Me: I did pick you up (literally sitting on the side of the tub with her wrapped in her towel and in my arms)

My Joy: No, you didn’t because you didn’t stand up.

Me: 🙄 and TF (in my head, of course)

I stand up.

Me: Are you a baby or a big girl?

My Joy: (looks at me in the mirror) I just wanna be ‘Mommy’s baby.’

This is mastermind-style manipulation from a four-year old, bruh. I was about to put her down and apparently she knew, hitting me dead in the heart with that line. I coo-ed and oo-ed and ahhh-ed while holding her heavy butt in my arms for at least another full minute.

#JustSharing

—Sincerely, Tyra

My Joy the Mastermind

18 Love Lessons I Learned in 2018

So I took some time to reflect on my relationships from last year. This list represents the love (and sometimes lackluster love) that I experienced in the form of my family ties, friendships, and more intimate relationships. Ultimately, I realized that I should pay special attention to the ones that were blessings and found some important lessons in the rest. Please take what you need.

Dear Self,

1. Sex will not sustain you.

2. A relationship will not complete you either; so be patient and #SlayTheDream

3. The business is better than the boo. Build it. Plan Ahead. Take your time.

4. Be careful. Be discerning. The devil will pray for you, too.

5. Backsliding was never your thing. Don’t start now. Despite his words, there was a reason it didn’t last.

6. Godly love or no love. Create boundaries.

8. Make sure your friends know how to pray for you and with you regularly. Communicate rather than isolate.

9. Are you equally yoked? Has God designed him especially for you?

10. Leadership is having self-control.

11. Let him check on you. If he’s about you, he’ll know that you deserve to be cared for sometimes, too.

12. Don’t forget what you learned.

13. Remember to heed your own advice.

14. Your youth are watching your example.

15. This year has been awesomely designed in your favor. But there is more work to do.

16. Remember God’s grace, mercy, favor rests in your most important relationship.

17. Practice silent confidence; walk the tightrope between humility and humbleness.

18. When you need a break from community organizing, remember this world we live in is not ready for My Joy.

BONUS: Obedience is difficult at times, but will reap more than you can imagine. Believe God.

–Sincerely, Tyra

#SlayTheDream

18 Love Lessons I Learned in 2018

Not Your Average 4-Year Old

I love when people talk to My Joy likes she’s an actual person. Don’t treat my big girl princess like a four-year old that’s not up on game. She is too smart for that and will let you know as much with her level of conversation.

Honestly, we should make it a practice of treating our children like little scholars and apprentices, but that’s another, much longer post.

—SincerelyTyra

#SlayTheDream

Not Your Average 4-Year Old

Kujichaguli-whaat?!

Today, I had an important appointment earlier with an associate which ended up in me having to reflect on a few of my past mistakes. I had to remember times when I thought poorly of myself and times when I allowed other’s perception of me to infiltrate my own self-image. In fact, I used to swear that my stomach was huge. I may as well have been because I thought I was a house—especially, in this second photo.

Major props to the person who can figure out in which of these photos I’m a whole FIVE months pregnant. Ultimately, I had become distracted and disconnected from my values—a few of which were not built on a strong foundation since I grew up dealing with low self-esteem. I couldn’t see myself in those early years (I mean that quite literally—my eyesight was so terrible without my glasses that I actually couldn’t see my own image in the mirror and I ALWAYS had the hugest glasses that would further prevent me from seeing my actual face). So by the time most of these photos were taken, I had fallen off a cliff and into a deep valley of trying to determine who I was and wanted to become.

Perception is the reality in which we dwell—and mine was completely chopped and screwed. It took a lot of work since the birth of my daughter to rebuild a positive view of myself in a few areas. My self-determination looks like me standing in the mirror saying “Girl, you fine” or even appreciating my post-toddler girth and laughing at these photos and the audacity of myself thinking I was too big in any area (What’s even crazier is that I really believed I was well-endowed in the chest. Can you say itty-bitty?).

My prayer is that as we come down off the high of the holiday cheer and move forward into this new year, we determine how we want to perceive ourselves and constantly work toward strengthening that self-image.

Happy Day 2 of Kwanzaa!

–Sincerely, Tyra

#SlayTheDream

Kujichaguli-whaat?!